Detailed Three-Step Self-Practice Process & Worksheet from pages 34-38
Living as Our Awakened Self:
Saying “Yes” to All Life from a Grateful Heart
of Infinite Love, Oneness and Pure Awareness
by Ralph Huber Ph.D.
The Three-Step Process for the Peace of an Awakened Self:
Waking Up from the Illusion that Life Should Be Different Than It Is
Step One: Identify and examine the story at the root of your suffering. Ask yourself:
What story am I telling myself that claims life should be different than it is?
Here are some examples: My husband should be more considerate. Politicians should be honest. I should be making more money at my job. That driver ahead of me should be going faster. Or you may have the story framed with a shouldn’t, such as…The driver ahead of me shouldn’t be driving so slowly.
“Life should be different” stories can also contain words like need and ought: My friend needs to be more understanding. I ought to be more assertive.
Further, stories in the form of a wish, such as I wish my husband were more considerate or “why” questions such as Why is this happening to me? often have at their core a belief that someone or something should be different.
After identifying your “Life should be different” story in this first step, examine the unreality of it by acknowledging that when you resist life with your stressful stories you live in an illusion. For example, you might say to yourself something like this: The story I’m telling myself argues with life; I suffer when I believe that story because life is always the way it is.
Another way you can acknowledge that you’re living in an illusion is to state the reality of the situation. For example:
My husband is as considerate as he is—no more, no less. Politicians are as honest as they are right now. At this moment, I’m making the amount of money at my job that I’m making. The driver ahead of me is driving at the speed he is driving—that’s what is.
It can also be helpful to consider what life experience you want to give yourself. You might ask:
Do I want to continue my suffering by believing a story that isn’t true?
or
Do I want to experience the peace that comes from seeing the illusion of this story?
To help answer these questions, imagine how you would feel if you didn’t see the story as true. Ask yourself:
What would I be feeling if I didn’t believe this story?
Might you be relaxed? Clear-headed? Calm?
Once you’ve identified and examined the story that is at the root of your suffering, move on to Step Two.
•••
There is an error in the word ‘should’, which represents the hypothetical. The hypothetical is never reality and is actually an idealized abstraction. The hypothetical therefore represents a fantasy.
David R. Hawkins
•••
Step 2: Access the wisdom and peace of your Awakened Self through an infinitely loving, grateful heart. Place your attention on your heart area for about ten to fifteen seconds, then bring to mind what you’re deeply grateful for in your life. (e.g. friends, family, health).
Fully experience what you’re thankful for in your life. When you feel centered and relaxed, ask yourself:
How might I respond to this situation with my heart’s wisdom?
Or you may find it helpful to ask:
What’s this situation/feeling about?
(e.g. a childhood wound; a denied aspect of yourself that’s in your shadow.)
When you get your answer, thank your heart for its response.
•••
Throughout the history of humankind, the oral and written literature has spoken of the wisdom of listening to our own hearts for guidance.
John Selby
•••
Step 3: Take action from a grateful heart. Now that you have your heart’s response, you can take action, feeling centered and peaceful, back in resonance with your True Nature’s Awakened Self. Note that the action you take may not always be outward. Your action could be a resolve to change your perspective with no specific outer action necessary.
And if you choose not to follow what your heart tells you, that’s perfect too. Be alert to making yourself wrong by believing one way of acting is somehow inherently or morally better than another way of acting. Remember: Your infinitely loving Awakened Self as pure awareness is without judgment, embracing life in all its colors.
•••
Suffering follows a negative thought as the wheels
of a cart follow the oxen drawing it.
Buddhist saying
•••
Once you become proficient in this process, you’ll find the steps happening automatically. If you need to use some or all the steps more than once in a given situation, see the perfection in that.
Feel free to experiment. Buddha’s last words were said to be “Be a light unto yourself.” So use the process in a spirit of curiosity and play, modifying the process as you see fit to best support you in seeing through untrue, diseasing stories that stand as barriers to your peace.
On the next page is a worksheet to guide you in using this three-step process. You can use a blank notebook to write your answers to the questions offered on the worksheet, or you can make copies of the worksheet and write your answers directly on it. In either case, it’s highly recommended to write down your answers to the worksheet questions until the three steps become second nature.
•••
When you see the false as false, what remains is the truth.
Jean Klein
•••
The Three-Step Process for the Peace of an Awakened Self:
Waking Up from the Illusion that Life Should Be Different Than It Is
Worksheet
Step 1: Identify and examine the story at the root of your suffering. Ask yourself “What story am I telling myself that claims life should be different than it is?” (e.g. My children should be more considerate. Life should be fair. I shouldn’t be so emotional.)
What story am I telling myself?
How am I living in an illusion by believing this story?
What might I be feeling if I didn’t believe this story?
Do I want to continue to suffer by believing this story?
Step 2: Access the wisdom and peace of your Awakened Self through an infinitely loving, grateful heart. With your attention on your heart, fully experience what you’re thankful for in your life and then ask the following:
How might I respond to this situation with my heart’s wisdom?
and/or
What’s this situation/feeling about?
(e.g. a childhood wound; a denied aspect of yourself that’s in your shadow.)
Thank your heart for its response.
Step 3: Take action from a grateful heart. Now that you have your heart’s response, you can take action, feeling centered and peaceful, back in resonance with your Awakened Self. Note that the action you take may not always be outward. Your action could be a resolve to change your perspective with no specific outer action necessary.